Offering flowers are a way to pay tribute to the deceased and comfort the bereaved family. The timing of when you send the flowers determines the name of the offering and the types of flowers that are appropriate. Many people find it difficult to choose the right flowers for such occasions, as it requires a flexible approach depending on the timing and religious customs.

In this article, we will introduce suitable flowers for offerings and taboos to avoid, categorized by timing and religious style of the funeral. If you’re unsure about choosing offering flowers, this guide may help.

Names and Types of Flowers for Offerings by Timing

The type of flower and the name of the offering depend on the timing of the gift. Here’s a breakdown of offerings for different occasions:

Notification of Death: Pillow Flowers (Makurabana)

“Pillow flowers” are flowers given between the time of receiving the death notice and the wake. These flowers are placed by the deceased’s pillow. Typical offerings include basket flowers or simple arrangements, with white flowers being the most suitable, such as white chrysanthemums, white lilies, and white orchids.

Since the intention is to mourn and share the grief of the deceased and their family, it is important to select understated and modest flowers rather than anything too extravagant.

Wake and Funeral: Offering Flowers (Kyo-ka)

Offering flowers for the wake and funeral are often in the form of stand flowers or floral altars. White and pale-colored flowers are appropriate, with chrysanthemums, lilies, orchids, and carnations being popular choices. You can also arrange flowers the deceased loved, but it’s best to keep the color palette subdued.

Other Memorials

For events like the 49th-day memorial, anniversary of death, monthly memorials, first Obon (Buddhist festival for the dead), or Higan (the spring and autumn equinox), arrangements, orchid pots, and Buddhist flowers are typically offered at the gravesite. In the Tokyo area, flowers given by the 49th day tend to be primarily white, but after that, it’s more acceptable to incorporate colors, making it easier to include the deceased’s favorite flowers or colors.

While there are no strict rules for flower colors at memorials, a white-based color scheme is preferred. Especially during the first Obon or the monthly memorial right after the funeral, it’s advisable to avoid sending overly extravagant flowers. For Higan, which occurs twice a year in spring and autumn, choosing flowers with a seasonal feel is a thoughtful choice.

Taboos to Avoid When Sending Offering Flowers

If you’re sending offering flowers, it’s important to understand the taboos associated with them. These taboos can vary depending on the religion, so it’s essential to confirm the religious style of the funeral. Different religions may have different preferences for the flowers offered.

Buddhist Funerals

In Buddhist funerals, flowers with thorns, such as roses, are considered inappropriate. Preserved flowers (dried or artificial) are also acceptable in this setting. White flowers are the most common, and they often include pale colors. Stand flowers or basket arrangements are preferred for their role in decorating the altar.

Shinto Funerals

For Shinto funerals, flowers are usually all white, and flowers with thorns or those that are poisonous are avoided. Chrysanthemums are preferred over orchids in this tradition.

Christian Funerals

In Christian funerals, flowers are often sent to the family home rather than the funeral hall, and no name tags are typically attached. White lilies are commonly used, but it’s best to confirm with the family for their preferences.

Summary: Appropriate Flowers for Offering and Taboo to Avoid

So, what did you think? The type of flowers suitable for offering changes depending on the timing of the offering. To choose the right flowers, it’s a good idea to explain the occasion to a local florist or funeral service for expert advice.

Additionally, the taboos for offering flowers differ depending on the religious style of the funeral. Be sure to confirm the religious practices of the funeral before sending flowers.

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